When Traditional Writing Advice Doesn’t Work
How often have you tried something that’s supposed to work—whether it's a habit, a routine, or a way of being—only to feel frustrated when it doesn’t? How many times have you blamed yourself, thinking you just didn’t try hard enough?
I used to beat myself up for not being more grounded and embodied, convinced I had to do it a certain way, and that I was inherently broken because I couldn’t. A therapist once challenged my thinking about the ‘right’ way to do it, and even why I thought it was so bad to be less embodied.
It ended up being one of those life-changing therapy sessions, as simple as it may seem. No one had ever suggested it wasn’t me that needed fixing, at least not about this. No one had ever said, hey, maybe conventional wisdom in this case doesn’t apply to you.
Translating this lesson into other areas of my life is slow but steady work. Over the past few years I’ve been able to ease up on myself when it comes to my writing practice, in particular.
I’ve tried so many approaches to sustain my writing practice over the years. Writing first thing in the morning. Writing X words every day. Setting goals. Creating rituals. Following the guidance of Stephen King, Julia Cameron’s The Artist's Way, Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones, Anne Lamott; participating in NaNoWriMo and other writing challenges; using the Pomodoro technique; scheduling writing, allowing writing to happen, writing by hand… you get the idea. If you’ve heard of a technique or method, I’ve probably tried it.
I know that some of these work well for folks, and I love to share some of the most effective techniques with writers—in fact, I’ll be covering a bunch in my upcoming workshop. But I also know I’m not alone in having a hard time making a something ‘stick.’
I’ve talked before about returning to your artist self, and how we must allow ourselves grace in the process. It’s also important to recognize that, even when we regularly show up to the work, most of us still need a lot of flexibility. This is especially true if we are, to borrow from Esmé Weijun Wang, living with limitations—chronic illness, ADHD, being a caregiver, mental health concerns, full time jobs, etc. Few of us have the luxury of shutting ourselves away without distraction to write for large chunks of time. Many of the popular methods don’t account for the reality of day to day life for many of us.
So, what might flexibility look like? For me, it’s having a list of topics I might want to write about, semi-regularly taking myself on a writing retreat, creating altars and rituals, using Tarot, turning to tried-and-true reflective writing prompts, and meeting with my literary coven and having co-writing sessions with writer friends often.
Sometimes I try a new method—like when I followed Beth Pickens’ advice during my MFA, taking a day off from writing each week and checking in monthly on my goals. It worked, until it didn’t. I also go through phases of daily journaling—until I stop. Nothing really sticks, and I’ve made peace with that.
I’m excited to share ideas, tips, and examples in my upcoming workshop, How to Structure Your Writing Practice: Create a Flexible Routine That Fuels Your Creativity. This event is on October 19th at 11 am PST. We’ll cover how to build a writing habit that sticks—and how to pivot (and be kind to yourself) when it doesn’t.
A Ritual for Creative Focus
Feeling called to write but unsure where to start? Here is a simple ritual to help you set intentions and clear space for your writing practice.
What You Need: A candle, a notebook, and something symbolic (like a crystal or small object that represents creativity to you).
Steps:
Light a candle and take a moment to reflect on your intention for your writing session.
Hold your object and envision your creative energy being channeled into it.
Write a short affirmation or intention about your writing. Example: "I trust my creative flow and honor the rhythms of my writing practice."
Close by blowing out the candle, acknowledging that you’re giving yourself permission to start fresh. Keep your object nearby as you write.